Speaking of XTC...

Actually, the post about XTC was a few down the list; I lack all experience in posting, sequentially or otherwise! Still, seeing the word "XTC" (and, yes, those quotation marks are indeed necessary!) made me think of the following exchange from an interview with Andy Partridge in the new issue of MAGNET:

the interviewer asked if he had any stories like "the Led Zepelin shark story."

"The nearest I could get was my rubber-shark story. That was my notorious way of not being unfaithful when I was on tour."

"Come again?"

"It was the best blow job I ever had. I bought it at a Woolworth's in Melbourne, Australia, on tour. I saw this soft, rubber shark about a foot long and thought,'Wow, if I stuck my dick in that, it'd feel really good. I could be faithful and not tempted by all these women now that I'm married.' So I thought, 'I'm gonna buy this rubber shark and fuck it.' I bought the shark, and it felt great. You'd get some suction going, a vacuum effect, just terrific. I used to wedge it under a cushion or a chair and fuck this rubber shark. My suitcase was full at the time, so I had to buy an extra box to take it around. I remember going through New Zealand with it and the customs agent asking me, 'What's in the case, mate?' I said, 'Well, it's a rubber shark.' 'Wise guy,' then he'd open it up and it'd be a rubber shark. It was great."

"Did it have a name, this shark?"

"Sharky. [laughs] Although after a while that stopped, because then I'd think of Feargal Sharkey. The last thing - literally - you want to be thinking of when you're blowing your wad is the lead singer of the Undertones."

The mind...it boggles!